Sunday, 15 June, 2008
10 reasons why one should not watch Dasavatharam
1. Kamal Hassan's hideous wig, paunch & man-boobs
This point more or less is about Kamal as Govind.With his howl inducing accent and more than pally-pally relationship with the monkey.He also launches into a diatribe about how AIDS virus was released into the world by a lab monkey.. So does that point to bestiality ?
Kamal probably grew those man-boobs for that Patti character.. still retaining it for Govind and Fletcher in certain angles does not fetch him brownie points in my book.
2.12th century episode
This one was the real irritant.If you remove this particular episode .. The movie would still make sense... Completely unnecessary and the fact that Asin did not show any cleavage though draped in a sari sans blouse was a major blunder in my view.Kamal should have ensured Mallika Sherawat played Kothai with a gravity defying Sari sans blouse... And for further titillation should have made her pole dance in front of the Chozha king for clemency.... Sure Fire hit....
Kamal's aping of Passion of the christ .. Where the protagonist is tortured, paraded before being killed evoked no symphathy.. Coz there was no depth... Why should we empathize with a guy.. Whose background is murky.. All of a sudden .. he bursts onto the scene... starts singing songs.. and is killed promptly... Dipshit
BITCH!!!! that is one word to describe her performance as Andal......
I was almost begging .. secretly praying to Mithun Da.. and the Flying Spaghetti Monster.. Hoping Fletcher would put a bullet through her brain...
One more time I hear Perumale from her.. I am gonna bitch slap her.. parade her naked through the streets... tie her to that idol of hers... and drop her into the sea.. BITCH!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!! Did Kamal spend a bomb on the make-up ?
This particular get-up looked as though .. the patti swallowed a vial of killer germs..
Coz the after effect of that virus makes someone look very similar to this Patti....
5.The Fletcher therapy
God bless Christian Fletcher. When governments around the world are spending millions of dollars trying to find a cure for cancer.. It was right there in front of us..
Chris Fletcher [ son of Duncan Fletcher former England Cricket Coach] really opened my eyes.
Extremely simple... Hire an Ex-CIA guy.. Make him shoot the cancer stricken guy with a gun.. and VOILA!! the gun would pierce the body takin away the tumour with it... No wonder people are against violence.. Some Pharma company is behind all this peace seeking Candle marches.. coz he knows no one would buy his drugs.. Too late to start an ordnance factory.. you see..
Buddy... If you are gonna sing a song like Oh Oh Sanam in front of a packed audience ... I swear they will pelt you with stones... Avatar Singh is an unnecessary plot device... Would have been interesting if Jayaprada had a pole dancing scene too... :D
7.Vincent - The activist
Flicking lines from Al Gore's An inconvenient Truth ... Sample " You just have one world to live in".... This avatar looked more like Ajith's tryst with Citizen.... very similar looking to Ajith's politician with goitre getup in that awful movie "Citizen".Pathetic waste of time
8. Himesh Reshammiya
Why is it that no one else apart from me sniff an islamic base in that "Kallai mattum Kandal" song. Buddy.. it is definitely not carnatic.. I bet my ass on it...sounds similar to a sufi song I heard years back.. but unable to recollect now
Gosh.. Tacky.. Amateurish.. Rubbish.......
10.Story-Dialogue-Screenplay : Kamal hassan
This was his worst avatar.... Too self-indulgent.. showing off that he knows more stuff than the normal guy.... His weaving of atheism .... not knowing when to stop... and forced humour... I believe Crazy Mohan would have brought the roof down with a tool like Balram Naidu in his hand.. to be frank Balram Naidu scenes were not bad.. it could have been rocking.....
Parting Shot: Unlike Superstar.. Kamal needs to literally slog his ass to bring in the crowd.. had this film not been hyped to its current levels.. "Aascar" Ravichandran would have renamed himself "Asscar" Ravichandran