Saturday 22 September, 2007

Om panty Om- music review


Deepika padukone!!!!!!!!! marry me....... i know i ve got the sex appeal of a trash can...
What a babe.. a goddess in fact...
Comin to the relevance of the title of this post... that would be the name of the movie i would make with deepika padukone given a chance...
throught the duration of my movie she would be made to wear costumes like the above one....
super duper hit i tell you!!!
Err!!! the script would be something like deepika checking out the new Victoria's Secret store in town n tryin out all their latest "lavender tinted" night garments.... The duration of the movie would be for 187 min.. but i promise to ve the full director's cut of 435 min untouched on the DVD..
i swear this post was all about reviewing the soundtrack of "Om Shanti Om".. but when i was googling pictures for the post... couldn resist writing stinkers like the first few lines...
to be frank... the soundtrack is a real pain in the ass...
it is even more painful than reading this blog... rather than listenin to the songs u can gaze at her bosom above... that is one of the stills from the movie..
it is the now the stuff of legends on how rahman walked out of this movie citing differences regarding the music rights.... tht saga deserves a seperate blog in itself...
I was kinda excited [before the controversy i.e] coz farah khan sure has a decent taste in music...
if u can extract Main hoon na outta anu malik.. u can work wonders with rahman....
I frankly expected shankar-ehsaan-loy to take over the proj.. coz they are the only one after rahman in bollywood to ve that unique sound in spite of not repeating themselves...
vishal-shekar sure are talented... allah ke bande was a terrfic number and they are more capable than CASH n DUS...
but here... they stink big time....
Ajab Si is the only redeeming number in the whole album... excellent lyrics by vishal dadlani himself... in fact javed akhtar writes pretty mediocre stuff in the remaining songs...
he tries to do a gulzar who in jaan-e-man rhymed shaayri with diary...
here we get stupid lines linking san fransisco n disco... sheesh!!!
Dard-e-disco... i could almost imagine farah khan tellin rahman...
look rahman.. "i want this kick ass number which would put chaiyya chaiyya to shame... hire sukhvinder .. do something..."
but unfortunately.. she must ve uttered the same to vishal-shekar...
"INSIPID" is one word to describe this track... done to death rhythms.. stale hooks.. come on vishal-shekar... u guys can do better...
if u thought the worst was over.... sorry.. the album nose dives from here....
not just rock bottom.. it digs a hole 50 ft below rock botttom n fills it with shit...
"Deewangi" sounds like a tune anu malik would ve abandoned composing 2 mins into the song...
the way "Main agar kahoon" started I was instantly humming "yeh kiski hain aahat" from devdas... naah... smart guys.. turns out to be another one...
sonu nigam tries too hard in this "fake" retro number..... disgusting would be a nice way to describe the song...
"Jag soona soona lage" this track started with some bitch screaming as though her toe nail got crushed... i promptly switched to the next track...
"Dhoom taana" is sounds like a song more apt for Jeetendra n Sridevi doing their pelvic thrusts in the good old 80's.... shitty song...
vishal n shekar should be really ashamed... just check shankar-ehsaan-loy 's deliciously retro sounds in johhny gaddar... this one just sucks big time...
people who insist this one is a classic are like Gollum...
they are purely schizophrenic muttering " My Precioussssssssssssssssssssssss........."
people who like Sivaji's songs also fall into this category..
rahman sucks in sivaji... he is a genius... i'll bash up anybody who says otherwise.. still Sivaji sucks...
not just sivaji... but also godfather.. jillunu oru kadhal.... provoked... taj anthem... poverty anthem....
he has become stale.... get out of the rut buddy.... hope jodha-akbar redeems u from damnation.. Amen!!!

Sunday 16 September, 2007

kaanal neer





HALLELUJAH!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am weeping out of joy.................
The Lord has come[or should it be cum???]... The greatest Lord of all Lords.. the one for whom i was waiting all my life has arrived on silver screen.............
Prabhuji!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this marks the end of your glorius era.....
Name of the Lord: RITHEESH[ Warning: the name of the lord must be whispered softly.. & at the same time hanging upside down from u r fan would be a good way to pay homage...]
I had the good fortune to see our Lord's movie KAANAL NEER on dvd yeste....
and within 5 min knew India's greatest star has arrived on the horizon..........
Directed by Chinni jayanth india's Ingrid Bergman...[more tarantino than Ingrid actually!!!]..
He has tutoured under masters like Kanti shah, nabh kumar raju ,TLV prasad... for more on these avant garde directors visit the greatest Sith lord of blog world
Our Lordship is introduced as Momma's cute n cuddly boy who has horlicks before bed [though he has a bottle of whisky stashed under his pillow]....
check our momma's boy above.....
now coming to the gal.. which gal wouldn' wet her pussy thinking about Ritheesh..
so here she is [ i heard she was picked up from the alley behind vadapalani bus stand...]
It seems she was negotiating for a hundred bucks more.. unknown to the fact tht she was gonna be made Lord's consort..... [ a much worser fate than a couple of hours of quick action on the hay!!]
And the scintillating soundtrack by Sunny-Bobby makes the Audio CD[5.1 mastered] a must buy....
each track is a grammy winner in its own right....
For the past 48 hrs ... i have been trying really hard to figure out the plot of this epic saga..
Guess considering my pea size brain.. it would take a couple of days more..
but stay tuned folks... more updates on the story coming up.. till then.. download the images of our Lord of All Lords as u r desktop wallpaper.. you will attain salvation quicker than the time taken to spell "Kanaal Neer"..................................